Hair Today, Still Freakin' Hair Tomorrow

Ouch.

For many women, hair removal can be a painful subject. But that’s never stopped us from discussing it with any other female who happens to be within shouting distance. Oh how we love to talk about our body hair, especially the methods we use to get rid of it. It’s an endlessly fascinating topic because we’ve all got it, and none of us want it. A friend of mine (actually an ex-friend; she was completely psychotic but that’s another story) once passionately expressed to me her desire to be sleek like a baby seal - presumably one that was not about to get clubbed – and I knew just how she felt. If you’re a girl, smooth is sexy, and there really are no caveats, such as, “you know, in some cultures plumpness is considered a sign of health and great beauty.” Nobody wants to be the bearded lady, except maybe the bearded lady if she’s hooked up with a good circus. And yes, there are people who are turned on by excessively hairy women, but I’m guessing most of us wouldn’t want to get too intimate with them, hairy or not.

So now it’s “bikini season” and that of course requires a nice trim bikini line. After a mustache waxing debacle last month (it was my first time, and the fuzzy shadow above my lip was ripped out and replaced with a cold sore worthy of Katie Holmes), I decided to invest in some long term bikini bareness. I booked a laser appointment at $120 for 15 minutes, which is dirt cheap in the laser hair removal world. I shaved three days prior as they told me to, and showed up at 8:45am, which should also tell you how deep my commitment is. 8:45?! In Glendale?! When I entered the room they gave me protective goggles (!) to wear, and got right down to business.

I’ve never been hit with a nail gun but I imagine that it feels a bit like getting zapped with a laser. There is some cooling blast that follows the intense pinching sensation, but there’s no way you’re escaping without a lot of grimacing and a few involuntary moans and groans. Lying face down on my tummy while the lady attacked my inner thighs was quite the lesson in humility.

And now, five days later, the hair is still there! It looks kind of frazzled and burned but I am not in any way bikini friendly (we’re not talking sexy pubes like those on the cover of the Black Crowes album above, which was originally a Hustler magazine cover from 1976). Which is fine, as it turns out, because they told me after my appointment that I couldn’t go near the sun for two to three weeks! Even if I used spf 45! In other words I picked the absolute worst time of the year to embark on the laser journey. So now I’m consigned to a summer of shaving (you cannot wax if you are getting laser treatments) and will have to revisit the zapper in the fall. Yup, you heard right, I will be going back. Are you kidding? A permanently baby seal-esque bikini line? How can a girl resist? I know you know what I'm talkin' about.   

Comments

[altcountry kid]

I think your wrong. I like girls that are natural and dont shave. Who wants a bald girl that looks like a little girl? Gross.

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For me, It's okay for a girl to shave.. That is the trend now. Just lessen the hair and its okay, not too bald just like altcountry kid said. But it's not gross, it's very nice..

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For nearly a century women have been vexed by the prospect of leg hair removal. Early leg-hair removal manners were quite painful, however things have improved for ladies over time. Heat the wax, apply it to the hairy area with a stick and cloth, then rip the hair right out at the root in one fell swoop. Ouch! Shaving is far less painful than the aforementioned, however it can leave skin dry, itchy, and nicked with cuts.

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I think on this post really need to go to a laser hair treatment,keep posting you have a nice blog.

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A lot of women prefer to laser off their unwanted hair. It's the trend so far in this country, and who knows, maybe for the next 25 years.

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