(Really) Undressing LA

I never understood the appeal of big, beefy Fabio type guys. Getting frisky with a muscle-y man seems about as appealing as rubbing on a rock, and me and my girls are pretty much all in agreement in our preference of the lankier male frame. Check out the KISS flick Detroit Rock City (in which Edward Furlong rocks out with his uh, shirt off in a strip club) or our pal Stephen Hauptheur’s ‘Skinny Boy Burlesque” night at his Wednesday club Radio at Star Shoes, and you’ll get the idea.

Needless to say, when my friend Stacy organized a girls night out gathering to celebrate her “liberation” (she just quit a job)  at the Hollywood Men show at Arena nightclub this past Saturday, I wasn’t exactly aroused about the idea. I’d seen the male strip show Thunder from Down Under and the result was more like “laughter from the rafters.” But I figured, what the heck, could be good for some more giggles.  I was in for a surprise though…

Hollywood Men does indeed feature some big n’ bulky boys but it also has an impressive mix of multi-racial fellows of various builds and looks. There was definitely something for everyone; the ladies in the house’s deafening screams made that clear. These two were hottest in our humble opinions:

“If you’ve got a husband or boyfriend at home….. fuck ‘em!” proclaims host Scott Layne,  the fit, 44-year-old dancer and promoter of the long-running show. The screams get louder!

Looking around, I see that each table (except mine) has a bride to be… White veils abound, some even have little penises dangling from them. One, who is led up on stage for a “private” lap dance is wearing a beauty queen sash that says “sexy little thing.”

“Are you ready see the same ‘little thing’ for the rest of your life?” shouts Layne, as the music -and the screams-  get louder.

The show that proceeds offers a slew of choreographed dance performances showcasing every male fantasy figure imaginable. The rough ridin’ cowboy, the dashing muskateer, the wild 50s greaser dude, a Dracula-type masked man, a fireman, a Top Gun flyer, and our two favorites “the officer (who is definitely not a gentlemen) and the obligatory cop (“you’ve violated penal 6969 and you will need to be frisked”)…. It was sexy, but all pretty tame, i.e, no actual jewels were unveiled.

Then it was time for the guys to come into the crowd, and seriously, I was scared for them. A room full of drunk and horny ladies screaming their lungs out…not pretty. But these dudes are pros. Heck, they even seem to like what they’re doing and shockingly, none of ‘em seem gay to me, unlike the Thunder guys who actually have to advertise that they’re “100% straight” (me thinks they doth protest too much). 

These ladies were all from my table…Dollar bills were waving, sweat was dripping, and temperatures were definitely rising. It was pure, lusty chaos. 

By the way, no lap-dances for moi…  Hubby’s not the jealous type, I’m just not the nasty in public type. It was fun to watch though,  even if I did battle a brief bout of prudeness at one point (I mean isn’t this kind of sexual objectification of men just as bad as that put on women?).

Then I remembered the two girls I know who do strip. They seriously love the attention and in a bizarre way,  it makes them feel powerful. Maybe it’s insecurity, or sex addiction or just plain exhibitionism, but either way, people give up hard-earned cash to be entertained by them- and they make damn good money too.

The Hollywood Men (who leave the stage with bills bulging from their speedos on our night) turn the tables on the whole concept in a fun, and theatrical way , and that’s why they’re still going strong after more than a decade. 

It's a good deal too because the admission price includes entrance to either of the two dance clubs that follow on the premises: the electro-o-rama  at Circus called Spundae and the Latin gay night called Club Papi in Arena.  Guess which one my group chose to cha cha with more shirtless hombres at til 4 a.m.?

Posted by Lina Lecaro

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