Joshuah Bearman

I want to see an oral history of this video with only 77 views

From all parties:  

Wondering what LBJ sounded like when referring to his crotch, and low-hanging nuts?

Wonder no more!

Who knew there were so many banana peels on the lunar surface?

The French must love it. Not because they never went to the Moon. Because they love slapstick: 

In my own "augmented reality" research, I'm scaling buildings and dodging the residents with a modified Krazy Klimber strapped to my face

As with all great music, this song (and equally astounding video) was inspired by an errant comment by a French fight promoter

Maybe arctic defrost not just killing polar bears but also thawing out chupacabras

Minnesota roadkill very clearly some kind of monster. KSAX reports: 

What kind of whalesong do Belugas enjoy? Canción ranchera, apparently.

Proof that peace in the middle east is possible

If only everyone could get ahold of whatever turkish delight this guy ate and and just dance:

 

Carson: Seen any good YouTubes lately? Me: Yup. Lookwell. The best.

How is it possible that I only just discovered Samoyeds?

They are fluffy white singing dogs. There is no part of that does not tickle my YouTube fancy. Or my regular fancy, come to think of it:  

Sometimes you need a different kind of dance partner

This dog really seems to know, and love, the salsa stylings:

Homemade spy satellite

Kitty + Dolphin = Maybe the Greatest Thing Ever

Caught on video!

 

Do you miss Beanie Babies? Get ready for a booster shot.

My eight-year-old self just came alive

And forced me to post this: 

It's Bullfrog Snack Attack Time

Because the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger is just not enough: 

Trying to decide if I'm going to see The Howling III: The Marsupials tonight

The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

Who doesn't wanna dance with somebody?

This feels like the triumphant culminating scene in a Groundhog Day-type sequence where this dude has been dancing this dance hundreds of times and at first he was a wall flower but now he has it memorized and cuts looks like nobody's business, finally winning over his ladyfriend (who, by the way, somehow managed to PULL A CANDLE out of nowhere during the line in the chorus: "I wanna feel the heat with somebody!"):

The Most Illegal Wrestling Move Ever

"How are we not hypnotized?"

Homemade kitty video genre ascends to new heights of weirdness

From the POV to the accent to the background music to the strangely erotic adulation: 

Electrowarriorsanta

We just took down the tree, in 2011, so I figure its not too late for this: 

Sometimes you know within seconds that you are going to hit SUBSCRIBE

(P.s. Stephen Sherrill says: "He had me at fractal tierzon fractal.") (P.p.s. For me, it only took HARDSTYLE.)

It just had to be done

Salsa dog:

It's Me, Sweet Sugar Slam Up in This Bitch!

Too many wonderful moments to count in this heartfelt christmas message:

How did I spent two months in Florida and not see one single Otter Rampage?

I'm gonna say that these are not shrieks of terror, but sheer wild otter joy.

Kid Farts on a School Bus and Gets Detention

And then that makes the news:

Guess it was a slow news day in Ohio. OK, so it actually was a van, which does make the offense worse. The kid's defense: "I was like, 'It was an accident.'" That didn't fly with the driver, or school district, which made it clear that if it happens again, the punishment will be the same. Oh, the Tyranny! As the news copywriter put it: "Now, Christian must fear his flatulence." Under this new regime, he "must be secretive when letting one slip in the school bus."

Meet the Sloths

One has a teddy bear. And they all eat breakfast together.

 

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

Metallica shilling for Ensure

Or maybe they ought to be: And dude on bass looks he's frog-hoppin rock and roll-style, but it's just his daily sciatica exercises.

Looking for Business-Like, Yet Modern and Trendy Ringtones?

Of course you are!

Thanks to Sam Culp, the master at finding videos with double-digit views...

Even if you don't speak spanish you know that "verdadero canino metalhead" must mean something good

Did he say "I'm Basil Marceaux dot com"? I think he did.

Au Contraire Mon Frere -- This sun bear is a practitioner of Muay Thai!

Not Kung Fu. Since Sun Bears are from South East Asia. And because I saw him at a New Beverly screening of Bloodsport. (Double Feature with Time Cop 2.)

Do I get bored? No.

Words from a marble addict:

Happy Day After Memorial Day

Just in time for XMAS, my one stop shop for gift needs

Discovered:

I Refuse To Let Summer Slip Away

Which is why I made this:

Another Bold Declaration About The YouTube Mash-Up

First, it ascended to high art with Kutiman's assemblage of unrelated music clips into original jams. Now the ante has been officially upped by Darren Solomon, who combined twenty YouTube music clips into a sprawling, interactive, personalized Steve Reich-o-tron, right in your browser. As if that wasn't nifty enough, the conceptual coup-de-grace is the instruction to use the volume sliders as an equalizer for your own mix!

Der schwarze angekleidete Mann

Johnny Cash in German: 

He's got all the finesse of Lt. Aldo Raines trying to pass for EYE-tal-yin in Inglourious Basterds -- which makes me like it even more. 

A New Horizon in Viral Video Elegance

Is what this video offers:

Watching it again, I hereby declare this to be the most succinct and effective commentary on the modern American workplace. Not to mention: a testament to the lasting power of The Backstreet Boys. I love the pacing, the escalation, the Busby Berkeley in office chairs effects. And while we're at it, I'd say this video is inadvertently a genius spec ad for Mac. One take + five computers + iMovie = office ennui sublimated into five minutes of verve, abandon and fun times!

The Yankee Pillow Dance

So: I am mildly obsessed with the Tsim Fuckiis phenomenon, having been sent one of the videos on the cusp of discovery one night by my pal, John. Tsim Fuckiis (or, depending, Fuckis, and also Fuckus), aka Chick3n Little, is a Progeria-afflicted Juggalo who had put up more than a dozen videos of himself on YouTube wherein he ranted some deranged shout-outs, lip-synced Offspring (preface: "This is an original!"), flexed at the camera, revealing what appears to be a penis on his stomach, sang a bizarre homophobic sing-song ditty, and fell over while trying demonstrate his kung fu powers on a stool. The whole thing was sordid but deeply fascinating. But not for everyone: I showed them to Ronni and she got mad at me. Then the videos disappeared overnight. Maybe his parents found out what was going on. Thankfully (one supposes), various enterprising YouTubers managed to preserve them for posterity. I know it's wrong, but I just can't stop looking. What really got me was the fact that genetics had dealt this poor fellow a cruel hand, dramatically limiting his time on earth, and what did he do with those few previous years? This. What also struck me about Tsim Fuckiis' juggalo act was that, at times, it seemed half-hearted. I mean, he's stomping around talking about his crew and ICP and all that, while on the dresser in the background is a Strawberry Shortcake lamp. Even when TF announces "What I Am Going To Do To The Haters" by demonstrating some wrestling moves on a pillow, it feels like he's only going through the motions.

Nevertheless, I give TF props for going conceptual: a title, no words, and a warning to all.

Having described Tsim Fuckiis' oeuvre to Paul F and Janie H in detail, I sent them the videos. To which Janie replied:

I have so many emotions right now, happening at the same time. I don't know where to begin. I started with the first one -- and stopped as it was hard to watch, you know.

Then, I skipped to the last one..."this is for all you haters one"...and it actually was full of joy. I call it the Yankees pillow dance -- it made me happy instead of sad, so I am leaving it at that.

"Full of joy" is not something I ever would have thought could be applied to Tsim Fuckiis, and all I can say is that Janie has a very generous spirit. I am going to come to her for life coaching next time I'm feeling down...

"My Life is Complete"

So says one commenter on this:

Me -- I think the parasol is a nice touch. Not to mention the music, which I think we can all stipulate is what makes this not just another bipedal pug, but a transcendent experience that made another commenter say: "I have watched this 30 times and it always brings tears of joy in my eyes."

But my favorite comment got practical, simply wanting to know, "What modifications did you do to the stroller so she can push it?"

Which Is More Upsetting?

Hammertime --:

-- or Tsim Fuckiis?

Chapelle Classix

Comedy Central has posted a bunch of Dave Chapelle's hip-hop related skits, a truncated archive notable not for the oldies but goodies (or for the couple stinkers), but for this weirdness:

Auto-Tune The News, Late Freight Edition

I will admit: I'm still proud of the fact that I saw the Thriller in Maniller prison choreogaphy when there were only a couple thousand views. But being ahead of the intercurve isn't everything. Plus, it's hard these days. And now I've come to love it when I catch a meme that's far along, such as:

Even though it's been going for like five months now, I don't have to wait for more. I know that this first little nug was delicious and there's more waiting for me in the box! It's like TV on DVD.

I'm Sure I'm Behond On The Downfall Meme Going Meta

But I'm posting it anyway:

Leave It To The Japanese To Come Up With New Advances In Genetically Modified Cute Technology

A Time Elapse Twist

If only Marco Polo could have stopped in at Best Buy!

The Longest Way 1.0 - one year walk/beard grow time lapse from Christoph Rehage on Vimeo.

Why I Wish Josh Brolin-as-Llewelyn Moss Had His Own Weekly Film Review

Sure beats At The Movies!

I Can't Help Myself