When I was at the LA Weekly, the office was on Sunset and the limited nearby lunch options often meant a quick walk up to Hollywood blvd. There, I spent a fair amount of time in fascinated study of the impersonating buskers always lurking in front of the the Chinese Theater. From Baja Fresh you could see them, harassing passersby and arranging themselves according to their own unspoken pecking order, which seemed to be some combination of seniority and likeness. For his brief tenure, the fairly acrobatic Blade had a good spot, and the three Jack Sparrows all looked pretty good until you got up close. One of them did have appropriately rotten teeth, but in general Bat Man was the most convincing, if for no other reason than his utility belt provided a natural destination for tips, whereas Superman and Spiderman had to wear black fanny packs over their brightly colored spandex. It was impossible not to sense tragedy when Superman would zip up his crumpled dollar bills. Or when he and Wonder Woman would come into Baja Fresh and quietly eat their Dos Manos burritos in the corner. Or when you caught them changing into their costumes in an alley off Yucca, as I did one unfortunate day.
I was especially sorry for the guy dressed up like drunk Homer Simpson. It felt like he got that costume for a hundred bucks off but should have sprung for the regular, sober Homer, because visitors from Nebraska don't want their kids approached by a giant cartoon drunk. He was largely ostracized. Down on the next block, the Ripley's Believe-it-or-Not Museum wanted to get in on the action with it's own dress up movie persona. Their mascot was Rambo, the one man killing machine. There we was, every day, standing in the door way and wearing a canvas sack like he was about to invade Afghanistan -- again! Ripley's required their Rambo to stay at his post. While the many freelance Elmos came and went as they pleased, the itinerant lone wolf soldier was chained to a place with a plastic Tyrannosaurus Rex emerging from the roof. All day long, he would stare longingly towards the Chinese Theater, wishing he could join his colleagues.
That's where the action was, in more ways than one. The first confrontation caught on tape was The Chebacca Incident. Chewie was arrested for headbutting a tourist guide who told his Japanese clients they didn't have to pony up money for pictures with the Wookie. It wasn't the first time something like that had happened. Elmo and Mr. Incredible and the hooded sad-face killer from Scream were arrested together a few months earlier for harassing people with "agressive begging." A little while before that, Freddy Krueger was arrested for stabbing a homeless man with his homemade claw hand. Once, on the Famima patio, I saw two Jack Sparrows once getting into it. They both drew their souvenir cutlasses before cooler heads prevailed. Maybe it's a good thing Rambo never showed up.
Now, the costumed heroes have more to fear than each other. A turf war has erupted between the impersonators and the CD vendors. Nacho Libre was attacked recently. Spiderm`an saw it all. I recommend watching the ABC Eyewitness News report. But be prepared for the emotional difficulty of, as their live reporter calls it, "seeing a superhero get a beat down." Apparently, the CD vendors have attacked the costumed impersonators many times, and police have been slow to help. Where's Chewie and Freddy when you need them? Superman has taken the lead in addressing the problem. He wrote a letter to the Mayor. There's talk of licensing. Something has to be done. If that doesn't work, they might want to consider heading down to Ripley's and unleashing the fury.