Because if you have seen Planet of the Apes, and you are therefore concerned about the Simian Singularity, like all good humans ought to be, then you would know never to teach your monkeys kung fu:
Trained-up ninja monkeys 'turn on master'
A Chinese monkey trainer who trained his animals to do martial arts reportedly got the shock of his life when his proteges suddenly turned on him.
Entertainer Lo Wung was knocked to the ground in a vicious attack by his monkeys while entertaining a shopping crowd in eastern China's Hubei province,The Sun newspaper reports, quoting a man who says he saw the attack and caught it on his camera.
The 42-year-old trainer had previously taught his monkeys basic taekwondo moves to amuse his audiences, but the monkeys had no qualms in using the skills against their master, Hu Luang told The Sun newspaper.
"I saw one punch him in the eye — he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose," the newspaper quoted Mr Luang as saying.
"They were leaping and jumping all over the place — it was better than a Bruce Lee film."
The revolt apparently started when one monkey turned and kicked him kung-fu style in the head.
The monkeys then all joined in the attack, with one even stealing Wung's stick and hitting him on the head with it.
A humiliated Wung sought his revenge by tying the monkeys' hands behind their backs and making them kneel on the ground to show they were sorry, Mr Luang said.