« April 2008 | Main | July 2008 »
May 21, 2008
May 16, 2008
Why didn't he just use the force choke
...and avoid court altogether?
Darth Vader' spared jail in Jedi church attacks
HOLYHEAD, Wales - A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.
Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court.
He also whacked Jones' 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones — known as Master Mormi Hehol — bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.
More shocking than any of that is the last line of demographic information:
In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 — 0.7 percent of the population — listed Jedi as their religion.
Busted!
Thanks to Joy Mead, I have been blessed with this:
P.s. The Wolong Panda Reserve, where Ronni and Marina and I had our magical black and white encounter last year, is just a few miles from the epicenter of the giant earthquake from a few days ago. Among the few bits of good news from the region: the pandas are safe.
Recent Posts
- Fire in the hole!
- Just because we've been dancing with samburu warriors a hundred miles from a phone
- Update from Wolong
- Why didn't he just use the force choke
- Busted!
- Balloon Man
- I always knew that man was magic
- Here's Chertoff Patting Himself on the Back
- And then the janitor went back to cleaning up
- "It was a big black thing about nine inches long..."
Nifties
Readings
- Panda PowerPoint!
I guess I don't mind being "the entertainment" when it's at Mark Allen's second annual Holiday Fry-B-Que. Presented: preliminary findings from my ongoing research into the most charismatic megafauna of all: Giant Pandas. - McSweeny's Presents: The World, Explained | Dec 9, 2006
For those who missed it, there will be more. World, Explained is going strong! Money was raised, laughs were had, and for those paying attention, small amounts of useful information about things like the aurora borealis were transmitted. Plus: Michael Cera = lovably funny. And Nick Diamonds' renditions of Dumb Dog and Hanging Tough are still in my head. As is that horribly catchy Fresh Step jam. - Jest Fest at Skylight Books
Somehow I wound up hosting the 10th anniversary jubilee for Infinite Jest at Skylight Books. Because who doesn't love a jubilee, right? Despite being delirious with Hepatitis A (that's the mild, non-lethal kind; I'm not at risk for Hep B since I always go the needle share and choose clean-looking prostitutes), I managed to not mis-pronounce anyone's name and make an erudite joke and poke gentle fun at Michael Silverblatt. - McSweeny's Presents: The World, Explained | June 10, 2006
Number Three! Last one was sold out so we moved to a slightly larger theater. Andy Richter hosted, and his opening exegesis of CSI: Miami warmed the people up right. Evany Thomas presented her very scientific findings on the Secret Language of Sleep; Starlee Kine bared her neuroses to the world (or at least the 300 people in the audience); Josh Davis showed video of his 135-lb self sumo wrestling a 550-lb opera singer from San Bernardino; and Davy Rothbart closed it out with some Found Magazine magic. Grant Lee Phillips, Sam Shelton and Zooey Deschanel provided the music punctuation! I can still hear their rendition of We Are the Champions. - McSweeny's Presents: The World, Explained | Feb 11, 2006
The second in our series of precision comedy and fact-based entertainment extravaganzas benefiting 826LA. Patton Oswalt was kind enough to host, and Jon Brion joined in on the piano and guitar as thematic accompaniment. Presenters included: David Rees, Michael Colton, John Hodgman (along with his hirsuit troubadour, Jonathan Coulton), and me. Plus: a fashion show of exciting multi-user garmentry. - Little Gray Book Lecture at Galapagos
How to Observe President's Day. Jonathan Coulton's technical wizardry has made this entire show available online. The summary from PRX: Sarah Vowell, John Hodgman and Joshuah Bearman on Presidents' Day, along with a fifteen-piece marching band and a new song about all forty-three presidents. My contribution? Yes, from Yeti Researcher. Again. Actually that was the first one. So I have only five stories! - Little Gray Book Lecture 25 at Galapagos
The Animals: Are They Our Enemies? In the case of my presentation about the giant gerbils of Xinjiang, the answer is yes. - July 25: TJ to LA -- A Night McSweeney's Readings
I was honored to be part of a strange triptych along with Salvador Plascencia and Josh Kun. Sponsored, somehow, by La Ciudad magazine, we all packed into Beyond Baroque with no air conditions. 150 people showed at 7 o'clock on a Friday evening, which we took as a good sign of something. Sal held up and anxiously discussed drawings from his novel, Josh delivered an essay on the Dr. Moreau of Tijuana, and my shtick (again) was Pac Man and metaphysics, this time with fun slides. - October 8th: Skylight Books w/Stephen Elliott
Fun times were had by all. Someone in the audience actually mistook me for an expert on the psychology human character. We ate shrimp cocktail and drank cheap wine and laughed at Bush and celebrated the certainty of right besting wrong in American democracy. A lot of good that did. - October 9th: MoveOn Fundraiser in Los Angeles
See above.
Articles in Print
- The Fearless Personal Inventory
Mortified -- the funniest public ritual of personal intimacy to mark the rise of confessional reality. - The Zombie Zeitgeist
A full scale movement is on the lurch. But why the best zombie movie ever made a video game? - Believer interview with Mark Allen
Digital artist and awesome gallerist Mark Allen talks about Tekken Torture Tournament and other projects where people were wired to machines and did strange things in public. - Believer interview with Marjane Satrapi
Enlightening Q & A with the Persian cartoonist, memoirist, quick conversationalist in which she declares: “THE WORLD IS NOT ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN FIGHTING THE JOKER; THINGS ARE MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.” - ¡Viva Border Volleyball!
Two on two on a toxic and geopolitically divided beach. (Nifty pictures and video available!) - Yeti Researcher
Yet another 100-page issue of the world's top academic journal devoted scholarship about the Yeti, Bigfoot, Sasqatch, and other mystery primates worldwide. For researchers and lay audiences alike, the latest YR features a history of Sasquatch sightings in southern California, an update on the wily orang pendek of Sumatra, and a new look into Teddy Roosevelt's obsession with bagging a Bigfoot. As Editor-in-Chief, I promise you won't be disappointed. - The Jacuzzi Apocalypse
Notes from Y2K. With some humor, and a nifty drawing by Carson Mell. - Monkey Love
My contribution to the vast cultural conversation on King Kong and the viability of simian-human romance - Man's Best Friend
Nintendogs puts existentialism in the palm of your hand - Digital Trim
Hillary Clinton likes her coffee cold
